I write at risk of losing my job. I’m about to admit some things any employer would probably look down upon, but it’s apart of my story. That’s what this is about.


I’m in a good place in life. I’ve established myself as the principal designer of a marketing team downtown Toronto, where I own the art direction. I’m known to be the one who made the company pink – I had to do it, the colour was right on the original logo. It only made sense. There’s now a newly painted saturated pink wall beside my desk, likely influenced by this decision. For this job, I moved to the beaches in Toronto so I can have a smaller commute. I love where I’ve found myself. I have an amazing manager who understands me. A team that has some of the coolest people I know.

Although the journey is far from over, the journey getting here has been a rollercoaster. It’s 2019 today, but I’ll never forget 2015.


My knees hit the ground. I cried out under my breath, no one in sight. Just me and God. “How many times do I have to show them…” I’ll never forget saying that because I believed it. I later made a tweet that I still keep pinned at the top of my feed – “Tear me down so I can show you how to build from the ground up.” This was supposed to be the biggest year for my music festival. This was supposed to be the beginning of a new chapter in Hamilton, where my new studio was built. This was everything I thought I needed. It all came to a close. Broken by the financial burden of a business venture that went south.

Reference – City of Hamilton double books Film Crew and Music Festival


Today, I can only thank the City of Hamilton for accidentally double booking my festival, which resulted in me losing everything, because I’m in a better place. It’s no exaggeration to say that life has a plan for you. Especially when I can look back and say that I went from breaking down boxes in Samsungs factory, to eventually designing for Samsung.

Sounds kind of cool. Sounds like smooth sailing. Truth is, there’s nothing more troubling than the future sometimes. I wish I could bask in the past forever.

At least it has the comfort of familiarity. Instead, there I was, trying to progress. Sleeping on the couch of my family members basement doing my best to keep to my promise to them – don’t go bankrupt. I had to pick up the first job that I could. This meant going to a job agency and finding a general labour job. Nothing wrong with that; I simply knew that I had to make more. I had no other choice.

Chapter 1:

I knew the next step was for me to become a designer. I knew the next place I wanted to be was Toronto. I pushed myself to eventually teaching User Experience design within the span of two years later. Again, it never was smooth sailing.

Sit down. Nice shoes. You’re fired.

To be continued…
Posted by:Joshua Moran

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